I find myself reflecting on this more than ever with the more time that passes since my mom has been gone. The older I get, the more I have a chance to see what other people’s relationships with their moms really are like. Do not get me wrong, I know a lot of people who have great adult relationships with their moms and part of me is super jealous of that. However, as I get older, I also realize how so many people do not have those “ideal” relationships with their moms.
Actually, It seems that so many people don’t. It makes me sad for them. It makes me sad for me. It makes me angry for them. It makes me angry for me.
Angry for them because they never got to experience that kind of love from their mother that everyone should have. Angry because their moms have every opportunity to be part of their children’s daily lives and chose not to.
Angry for me because my mom truly was one of the best. She put me first always. She was my biggest fan. I could tell her anything. Angry for me because her life had to get cut short. Angry for her because she had to miss out on having an adult relationship with me. Something she would have done anything to have.
Although the years with my mom got cut short, I would not trade them for anything. I would not trade them for 100 years with anyone else’s mom. My mom was truly one of the best and I continue to see that and learn more every day. With every person I meet, with every mother daughter relationship that I encounter, I find myself comparing them to my mom, and wishing she were here to enjoy this part of my life with me.
It is not fair that my mom isn’t here. It is not fair that she didn’t get to have an adult relationship with me. She wanted that more than anything. I wanted that more than anything. But with all of that being said, I wouldn’t trade the less years I had with her, for more years with anybody else.
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Also, here are some great resources for anyone who has lost a mother