Grief is hard during the holidays. I think that we can all agree on that. However, this year, brought on a whole new level of difficulty for those of us who are missing a loved one during this already difficult time.
For many of us, the holidays look different this year. We are missing more people at the table than usual and we are separated from those that we love. For me, it is has brought back the feeling of when my mom first died and everything looked different. Traditions had changed and the person that I loved most was no longer apart of this day.
The holidays this year have seemed a lot like that. There were more people missing than usual and traditions didn’t quite look the same. It was similar to that level of change I felt in those dark first holidays without my mom.
Quarantine and COVID have been hard on all of us. Whether you are grieving or not, I think we can all agree this is one of the most difficult challenges we have been faced with. So, add that to the feeling of someone already grieving and the holidays this year have been just plain hard.
So, if today didn’t feel the same as usual, it’s okay.
If you stayed in your sweatpants all day instead of getting dressed up like usual, it’s okay.
If your house wasn’t as clean as it was when you normally host a big group, it’s okay.
If you didn’t feel in the Christmas spirit, it’s okay.
If you felt more sadness than happiness, it’s okay.
If you couldn’t wait for these few days to be over, it’s okay.
Things look different this year. Things have been downright difficult. If you didn’t find the same joys and happiness today, it’s okay. Be gentle with yourself. You aren’t alone.
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Also, here are some great resources for anyone who has lost a mother