There are many thoughts running through my head as I think about this decade. All that this decade has brought me and all that it has taken from me. My friend texted me last night putting it so simply, we started the decade with our moms, however we are ending it without them.
This decade brought me a lot of things. It brought me closer to my family. It brought me a friend group that I wouldn’t change for the world. 2 college degrees. A career doing what I love. Love, in all aspects of the word. I fell in love, multiple times, actually. My love for the people in my life grew stronger. I learned what love and loss truly mean. It was a decade that brought me more growth than any combination of years ever. Probably the most growth in a 10-year span I’ll ever have, honestly.
However, this decade took more from me than I could EVER put into words. This decade took the most important person in my life. This decade brought me more loss than I ever thought I would have to deal with. This decade took my mom. Losing my mom has been the most difficult part of my life. It has made this decade seem unimaginable.
In this same decade, was the last years that I got to spend with my mom. It is bittersweet. How a period can take so much from you but also leave you with the memories that you will cherish for the rest of your life.
Writing this, it’s hard to find the words. It’s hard to wrap my head around with the period of 2010-2019 has meant to my life because this amount of time has been everything. It has held my fondest memories, and it has held my most painful ones. It has taken so much, but at the same time, has given me more than I ever could have imagined.
This decade has made me who I am. It has shaped me and set the foundation for the woman that I will continue to be. It is a bittersweet time to leave behind.
Because leaving behind this decade means starting a new one that my mom will not be a part of. It will be the first decade without her. And although she has made me who I am and given me the strength to get through, it doesn’t make up for all the years I have left to live without her.
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Also, here are some great resources for anyone who has lost a mother