Don’t get me wrong, my family is great. They have been very supportive since losing my mom and there to have my back and help out with things whenever I need it.
But that doesn’t mean things aren’t different. That doesn’t mean my life hasn’t changed.
Things aren’t the same.
My mom was the one who was there for me unconditionally through everything. She knew what I needed when I didn’t even know myself. She made us a family. She made our house a home.
My mom made EVERYTHING better. Moms just know what to do and what to say.. (at least mine did).
It doesn’t seem like the same “family” without my mom. Something is missing and things won’t ever be the same. No matter how comfortable we’ve gotten with our “new norm”, it is still an uphill battle everyday.
There are still plenty of times that I find myself crying in bed thinking to myself, “things aren’t the same, I just need my mom.”
Big moments, hard times and the times to be happy aren’t the same without her. These things are a reminder that the most important person isn’t there to be there. My mom isn’t there to celebrate with me and she’s not there to pick me up when I fall.
We adjust over time to the hard things we’ve been through and the changes they have brought into our life however I don’t think we are ever the same after experiencing the death of someone so important.
Death changes you. It changes who you are as a person and changes the dynamics that are shared between you and the people in your life.
At the end of the day, we lost the most important person and it’s okay to admit that things are never going to be the same.
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Also, here are some great resources for anyone who has lost a mother