I know, that seems like a crazy word. Healing? That probably sounds like something you have never heard before. Trust me, I get it. I’ve felt like that more times than I can remember. Who am I kidding? 6 years later there are days that I feel that I will NEVER be healed fully from this grief journey.
However, there are days that this isn’t the case. There are days that I remember how far I come. There are days that I am able to recognize the strength and the growth that has come from these dark, dark, days since the death of my mom.
It’s safe to say, losing our mom becomes part of us. It becomes part of our identity. Being a motherless daughter starts to fit us into a club that we never wanted to be part of. It is, and will always be part of who we are.
That being said, that doesn’t mean that healing doesn’t happen. Do you remember the days after the death of your mom? If you don’t it is probably because your memory suppressed them because they were too painful. If you do remember, you also know how painful this time was. Remember the first holidays? The first big event your mom missed? The first time you cried on the shower floor over something and the only person you wanted and needed was your mom?
These times were horrible. Something that unless you have lived or gone through, you could never understand. But think about how far you’ve come from those firsts. Think about the triumphs, the things you have overcome, the joys that you have started to find in life again. Think about the times you smiled and actually started, if even for the moment, to feel a bit of happiness.
The worst part about grief is that it’s never really over. It’s a rollercoaster and it sneaks back up on us when we least expect it. But that being said, it doesn’t mean the rollercoaster is always going up and down. Sometimes, the car is coasting and things aren’t so bad. Sometimes, things may even be good.
When you’re feeling extra down, remember how far you’ve come. On your worst days, remember how much you have healed.
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Also, here are some great resources for anyone who has lost a mother