I think it is safe to say I miss my mom all of the time. Regardless if things in my life are good, bad or ugly, there is usually not much more I need or crave than the arms of the person that meant everything to me, the person that I miss so deeply.
But on the bad days it makes the pain ache that much more. On the days that seem never ending, the gaping hole of grief that consumes me gets deeper and deeper.
On the hardest of days, I miss you more than I even thought possible. When nothing seems to be going my way, and everything seems to be stacked against me, there isn’t much more I could want than being in the arms of my mom.
Today sucked and I missed my mom.
Today I felt sad, hurt and broken. I am going through yet another difficult time and at this very moment, I miss my mom even more than I did yesterday. The more I hurt from other things, the more I start to miss and grieve her all over again.
Today I felt lost. I didn’t know how to move forward. I didn’t know how to pick up the pieces and continue down this road filled with pain and struggle without her.
With every loss of someone new, comes the pain of missing my mom in ways I didn’t know were possible. For every single time that I think I have healed and started doing better with this whole grief thing, something bad happens and it sets me right back to where I started.
I miss you when things are good but I miss you even more when things are bad. I never thought the day would come that I would have to go through pain without you. I never thought a time would come that I would have to struggle through all of the crap life throws my way, without you.
I need you every day. But on days like today I need you even more. On days like today I need you more than I ever thought possible. On days like today there is nothing more than I need but a pep talk and a hug from my best friend.
I need you mom. I miss you.
For more of Christie’s writing follow her on Facebook
Also, here are some great resources for anyone who has lost a mother