In a time when things are so scary, this is at the forefront of my mind more than ever. Since the day I found out my mom was going to die, my biggest fear was losing my dad. My biggest fear was to have to be a young woman trying to navigate the world without parents.
Over the years, this fear has stayed front and center in my mind. Whether my dad isn’t answering his phone, goes out and I know that he’s drinking, or in a time like now, with a pandemic happening that is taking the lives of many people every day.
My dad is on the younger side of the at-risk population. He is healthy, exercises almost daily and is actually probably in better shape than me. But that hasn’t stopped this fear from crossing my mind daily. What if my dad was one of the younger people to get sick from this virus and not be able to fight it off? What if my family was once again one of those stories you hear about?
My mom was too young to die of cancer. She wasn’t elderly. She had a ton of life to live. What if that was to happen again?
When you lose a parent young, I think it’s only normal to fear losing the remaining one. You have experienced something that many people around you haven’t and you have felt and understand true pain that nobody could understand unless you have lived it. For you, for me, the thought of losing your remaining parent is terrifying and a fear that I truly believe I will live with every day.
Don’t get me wrong. I don’t take a moment for granted. I spend as much time with my dad as I can. We talk every day. We get along great. He is my best friend. I do live in the moment. I enjoy my time with him that I have knowing damn well that life is short and things could change at any moment.
But that doesn’t take away the fear. That doesn’t take away the fact that I am terrified to lose him too.
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Also, here are some great resources for anyone who has lost a mother