My mom has been gone for over 7 years now. It is almost hard to believe that, that much time has passed since she left this world. On some days it seems like yesterday and on other days it seems like it was a lifetime ago.
Although some days it seems so long ago, I remember the days leading up to and the moments surrounding her passing like it was yesterday.
I remember the world collapsing around me.
I remember crying in the arms of my dad and my aunt.
I remember people coming over and feeling a combination of the most emotion I have ever felt and the numbest I’ve ever felt all at the same time.
I remember what people we wearing. I remember where we picked up pizza for the family that night. I remember exactly which family members and friends were over.
I remember trying to pretend everything was normal and trying to hide all my emotions.
I remember hiding in the bathroom while everyone was at our house just to get some alone time to cry.
I remember being afraid to show emotion in front of my dad because he was grieving too.
I remember not knowing how to talk to my friends because honestly, they had never lived through something like this and although they tried to be compassionate, they truly had no idea what to do or say.
I remember being afraid to go back to school and work. I remember being afraid that people would judge me for not staying home longer.
I remember friends not inviting me places because they did not think it was appropriate when I was grieving.
I remember just wanting people to treat me normally however nobody seemed to know how.
I remember feeling different from everyone else.
I remember a lot about those days, weeks and months.
But there is nothing I remember more than knowing at the exact moments that my mom took her last breaths; my world was collapsing around me and would never be the same.
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Also, here are some great resources for anyone who has lost a mother