Is it just me or is it that no matter how many years that have gone by since my mom has died, Mother’s Day, is one day that never gets easier?
The weeks (or what seems like months) leading up to it, and the countless advertisements, displays, and card shelves are THE WORST.
I dread this time of year. Everywhere I go it is like there is a giant sign reminding me that my mom died and that she is no longer alive and a reminder that I will have to live today, everyday and all the rest of my Mother’s Day’s without her.
It brings my grief to the center of my mind even when I have been doing well. It brings out emotions I have been able to cope with most of the year. It forces me to grieve and feel, all over again.
It reminds me that Mother’s Day is approaching. Very soon.
There isn’t a day in the year that I dread as much as Mother’s Day. There isn’t any day that makes me dread to get out of bed more and make me want to isolate everyone and everything.
This is a day that nobody in my life can do anything right nor do I want them to. If I can’t have my mom, I want to be alone.
For one day, it feels like nobody understands. It feels like I am the only person in the world without a mom.
So, I have my pity party. I do what I need to do to get through this god-awful day and keep reminding myself that it is one day, and it will be over tomorrow.
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Also, here are some great resources for anyone who has lost a mother