It’s been a little over 7 years since my mom died. In that time, I have grieved, I have loved, I have lost, and I have grieved all over again many, many times. I’m not the same person I was when my mom was here. A lot has changed, and this grief journey has changed me.
Throughout this journey, many things have changed but also so many things remain the same. No matter how much I have changed and grown as a person, the love I have for my mom has not changed in the slightest. No time apart could change the bond my mother and I shared. Nobody on this earth could ever take her place.
Sometimes it feels like yesterday that my mom died. There are details about that day she died that will forever be engraved in my mind.
The moment my mom took her last breath.
The moment I realized I would never get to hug or kiss my mom again.
My dad crying in my arms.
The pain that followed as people came in and out of my house crying and sharing stories of my mom.
Oftentimes, it really feels like yesterday that this all happened. With all of the things I forget, the details of that day are something that I believe will be with me always.
However, sometimes, it feels like it has been forever.
It seems like it has been forever since I have been able to tell her about my day.
Or lay in bed with her.
Or call her on my way home from work.
Or hear her laugh.
Or see her smile.
These things leave me feeling scared. They leave me wondering how many things I am going to forget.
As much as I know I will never forget my mom and the love we shared, it terrifies me to think about the things that I won’t remember as visibly with the more time that passes.
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4 thoughts on “The Death Of My Mom Feels Like Both Yesterday And Forever Ago At The Same Time”
I lost my Mom almost 6 years ago, just 12 hours after I lost my Dad. If anyone would have ever told me that they would pass away on the same day, I would have thought they were terribly wrong. I lived for the last couple of years of their lives, caring for them and being with them almost every day. They loved me so much, as they did my 3 siblings. I truly believe that theirs were God ordained deaths. They never wanted to take one breath without the other. Not a day goes by that I don’t think of them and miss them terribly. I cried when I had Granchildren that they would never know, and for the hard times in life that only they could make better. I hope that I carry my Mom in all that I say and do and I pray that my daughters will love me as much as I love my dear, precious Mom.
My mom went to Heaven on the 1st of October 1993, that means it will be 25 years ago and my birthday is on the 31st of the same month. I can tell you that I’ve never forgotten anything, not a thing. Seeing my father was the saddest thing of all even though he pretended he was fine. And the worst thing was that in the cemetery he couldn’t talk and told me that I was the one to do it. My aunt Angela was by my side and she looked and told me that I could do it. "My God it was my mommy," my everything the only human being that God gave me that will never ever will let you down because their love is unconditional…
I do remember everything except what I say. She was a soprano coloratura and me a simple soprano, I do remember that I sang the Regina Celie with the nuns of my school even though they couldn’t finished.
My mother, the Queen of our House with whom I talk each day…
And my father he went to be with her 4 and a 1/2 years after her and it was something unbelievable. We went to put some flowers on her tomb and coming out of the cemetery he just told me this with the biggest smile he could dedicated to her; "my girl I just talk to your mom and the Virgin Mary, and I’m going with your mom in 2 weeks". I got so mad that I forgot that I was driving and I didn’t have an accident because of a miracle. And guess what? He went to Heaven to be with my mom as he told me, 2 weeks later. How I miss them, and will miss them forever ’till they come for me with all my furry brothers.
I lost my mom to cancer 8 years ago. It was the hardest thing I have ever delt with. It still hurts today. I miss my mom so much!!!!
April 1st it’ll be 3 years since my mom went to be with Jesus! I miss her like crazy! Sometimes it’s hard to believe she’s gone. I praise God though because he has shown my mom in heaven. Then my grandma passed away a year and half later. They are both with the lord! I miss them but I can’t wait to see them again! I became a minister of the Gospel! The lord has changed my life and because of Jesus I know not only my mom and grandma are in heaven waiting for me, I’m excited others get to join us! I like you remember every bit of what happened when my mom was passing away. I remember everything of our life and interactions. The lord talks to me with her voice sometimes. I want to encourage you all! They are your future not your past.
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