Sometimes We Have To Completely Break In Order To Start To Heal

Feeling broken again. Crying in the bathroom wondering how I let someone get the best of me again. Angry at myself. Angry at the world. Wondering why this is the hand I got dealt. Wondering how anything can be right when so many things in my life are wrong.

Why do I keep letting people in just for them to hurt me? Why is my heart so big that I constantly give second chances to people who don’t deserve them? Why am I sitting here falling apart while someone is feeling no pain what so ever as to what I am going through?

Why has my life seemed to be constant struggle after struggle? Why is it that I keep breaking piece by piece, little by little?

Well, maybe this last broken piece is exactly what I needed. Maybe you have to truly break one last time. Maybe enough is enough. Maybe this was the final break that was finally going to help me take charge. Take charge of my grief. Take charge of the sadness I have carried with me. Maybe I can finally take charge and begin to heal from all of the pain that I have been carrying with me.

Loss has this terrible way of bringing up past losses. A new break up reminds you of the last person who broke your heart. Death reminds you of the grief that you have kept tucked away for the past few years. Losing people has a way of bringing back up old ones that you thought you had healed.

But eventually, enough is enough. We are always going to hurt. We are always going to feel pain. There are always going to be new challenges and struggles that we are left to conquer. Maybe, just maybe, this “rock bottom” feeling can be the start of something.

Maybe, it is finally time to take back control of my life and my happiness.

Maybe, it is time to heal.

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