By: Bree Kaiser Soberanis
We would all imagine that it’s like this rolling thunder in the worst of storms But I think grief is SILENT. I think it’s so loud and beyond devastating that it becomes SILENT. It is catastrophically deafening at times. It’s not something you can schedule in or decide when and how you hear it. It comes out of no where, and sometimes it can cripple you. Close your eyes right now and Imagine walking to work in a blizzard. You knew the exact time the blizzard was going to hit You even knew what to expect, how much you are getting, what to wear, and had time to prepare for it. I think Grief or Death is the total opposite. There are moments where you are walking in the sunniest of skies and then out of nowhere the blizzard strikes. With no warning without shelter but most importantly without warmth. You can’t see straight and you are left with no choice but to rely on your other senses to navigate your way to safety. We are all equipped to handle whatever obstacles life throws our way but how we actually use those tools to navigate through the process can be the hardest lesson you will ever learn. Nobody will ever truly know the pain behind your smile or the heartache that’s behind your laughter and that’s ok. I think some people are meant to go through the depths of their own hell in order to become who they are really meant to be. Science says there are phases you go through but there is no science or a Magical thing that will get you through it. It takes time and there isn’t a limit on that time. For your grief is yours alone and nobody has a right to put limits or expectations on it. Grief and Death is one and the same. They bring such pain, sadness, and a list of 1000 other emotions but they can also bring out the best in us. I think in time we will see how blessed we still are even if we don’t feel like we deserve it. You see, When you are left with nothing you begin to realize that the one thing you need the most is YOURSELF. Learn how to love and accept yourself. Know your worth and always remember that you went through the worst storm of your life and you made it through. I am still working through it. I have times where I don’t necessarily see things clearly and my soul screams out in agony but that’s ok. I am a work in progress and that’s also ok. It’s ok not to be ok!
Bree lives in Brooklyn NY with her husband Anthony and her daughter Sienna and her mother died.
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