To My Momma In Heaven This Christmas

I don’t know about you, but holidays aren’t what they used to be for me. They have become something that I often avoid, and definitely are no longer something that I look forward to. They bring clear attention to something so obvious, that my mom, my favorite person, is no longer here.

Walking through the store, I still find things that I wish I could buy for you. I see decorations, that I know you would have found the perfect place in the house for. Everywhere I look, is a constant reminder that you aren’t here.

I can’t find the excitement that I used to. I can’t get that holiday season spark that everyone around me seems to have. Actually, people have a hard time understanding why it is so hard for me to get into the “spirit” of the holiday season.

I miss you. Not just a little. I miss you every day, constantly. There are so many things that I wish you could be here for and there are so many things that are no longer the same without you.

I can’t help but think about how different things would be if you were here. I can’t help but grieve you all over again, every time that I start to realize our family unit will never be the same.

It’s not easy. In fact, every day brings about a new struggle I need to conquer without you. You were supposed to be here for all of these things. You weren’t supposed to have to leave so soon.

So here we go, another holiday season that I will be left to miss you. Another holiday season that I will have to find it in me to carry on, no matter how deeply my heart aches for you.

I miss you mom. Merry Christmas.

For more of Christie’s writing follow her on Facebook

Instagram: healing_throughgrief

Also, here are some great resources for anyone who has lost a mother

https://www.facebook.com/iamamotherlessdaughter/

https://www.facebook.com/Motherless-Daughters-153858391294874/?fref=ts

https://www.facebook.com/MyMomIsInHeaven/?fref=ts

https://www.facebook.com/MyMomIsWithGod/

 

29 thoughts on “To My Momma In Heaven This Christmas

  1. Thank you so much for this. All your posts help and are so heartfelt. May God give all of us Motherless daughter’s strength to carry on. Merry Christmas. Happy New Year. It hurts me too. 🙏🙏🙏

  2. Miss My Mom too, at Christmas, every day. I feel you pain also. Your posts are so like my feelings. May God Help you through this season and all the seasons to come. Merry Christmas to you & Yours. Happy New Years also .. You aren’t alone xoxo

  3. I lost my mom 3yrs ago & the holidays just hasn’t been the same for me. She loved the holidays, especially Thanksgiving & Christmas. It truly makes me miss her alot more during this time of the year. I’m very thankful for this page because for the past 3yrs, it has really helped me cope with the lost of my beloved mom.

  4. It’s hard to “push through” the holidays. I promised my Mom that I would, so, I do. I miss her every single day. A Million Different Things and this time of year, as the anniversary of her passing approaches, it’s just hard. Nobody understands. Not really.

  5. I lost my mother on New Year’s eve 2014 and it is especially difficult for my sister and I around this time of the year. Really it’s hard every day but especially around the holidays. Praying for all that have lost their mother, because life will never be the same. XOXO

  6. I lost my mum 3 years ago and my dad last year both still worked and was just reaching retirement neither was ill … losing both your parents to sudden death is the worse thing ever … the tears and heartache will never go away left feeling lonely empty and sad… i feel your pain Xx

  7. I lost my mom 3yrs ago & my dad 2yrs ago. Yes, holidays aren’t & never will be the same anymore. I find myself in the motion just for my kids & grandkids sake but down deep inside I’m hurting & missing them so much. The pain is unbearable & it’ll never be the same again. Blessings to all who have lost their parents. 🙏💔

  8. I lost my mom on Christmas Day 2015 after a short and painful battle with lung cancer. Christmas is especially difficult without her. I try to make sense of why she had to leave us on Christmas Day? I tell myself she was just extra special that she died on the day Jesus was born! Prayers

  9. I’m a mom who lost my daughter but the feelings expressed here are the same. Holidays, Sunday dinners, nothing is the same. Each day I look for the joy but it is rare that I find it

  10. I lost my mom at age 39 12 years ago the 4 th of July and I have to say it’s never easy nor does it get easier ,,,, I wish heaven had phones… god bless

  11. Thanks for sharing this. I lost my mom to cancer Jan 2014 and the holidays have been so hard without her… my everyday works has been turned upside down. Christmas was her favorite! Her home was always decorated so nicely and it just gave a warm and loving feeling. She played Christmas music at the start of Thanksgiving. I miss her gentleness. I miss how she loved everyone. I miss her immensely.

  12. Lost my mother June 22, 2005. Since then many birthdays have passed and holidays too. I had my first child in 2013 and that has been my saving Grace in healing although I wish she could have met my daughter too. Rest peacefully and save me a seat close to you mom! <3

  13. This will be my first Christmas without my mom .It is heartbreaking and I get emotional alot I’m trying my best not to worry about it but hurts. I been doing everything possible to stay busy and not think about it. Merry Christmas mom I miss you

  14. My heart goes out to you. My Christmas wish for you is to spend one holiday with a little girl who is 4 and her mommy has gone to Heaven. I am her earth mommy and she has a sky mommy so she is not sad during the holidays. If you ever wish to reach out to us, please do so. I would love for you to feel the joy of Christmas through the child that has also lost her mommy. Much love to you.

  15. I struggle so hard at this time of the year 😥 people don’t understand my emptiness that void I feel. Today my bday and I can’t celebrate because my bday was the last day I had with my mom.

  16. So profound and beautifully written. You took the feelings in my heart, and wrote them down perfectly. I feel your pain. Now even 15 Christmas’ after her death, I still feel it so deep and painfully. I always heard growing up that Moms are the glue that keeps the family together. #truthbomb

    Sending you prayers for peace and understanding. They’ll be waiting for us to come home for Christmas. xoxo

  17. I feel this in my soul, as if I wrote this myself. Christmas was my mom’s favorite holiday, and always went all out for it. Three years after her passing unexpectedly, I find it harder and harder to get in the spirit of the winter holidays. Matter of fact, I did t even put up decorations this year, because I’m just not feeling it AT ALL. I hope you and the rest of us out there find some joy this Christmas, even if it isn’t the same as it once was. Bright Blessings to you

  18. This is so true – 3 years later and I am still so lost and it’s harder and harder to get into the "spirit" of the holidays – I lost my only sibling, my brother 6 months before my mom – I don’t think anyone understands just how empty I feel – it’s even more so at the holidays…..

  19. My dad passed in Feb of a massive heart attack….someone who wasn’t sick at all and who’d never had heart problems. My mom passed in October within 3 weeks of having found out she had Leukemia…..a woman who wasn’t sick and had no ideas whatsoever she was going to pass away 3 weeks later. Suffice it to say, this years holiday season is so difficult. There’s a gigantic hole where 2 wonderful parents had filled. Married 62 years and in love just like the first month they were married. Love and miss you, Mom and Dad.

  20. So greatful to still have Mom around who will be 77 Dec. 26 th; however I still miss my Granny something terrible even though she will be gone 10 yrs as of January 23, 2019. Whoever said it gets easier was wrong!

  21. Where to begin … I was only 16years old when loosing my dad to a heart attack in 2006 I thought nothing could be worse, the thought of loosing my mom then came to mind and tragedy struck a short 2years later when my mom had multiple strokes and after being paralysed and brain dead due to them sadly passed away in hospital a week later. 18 with a 19year old brother we were alone. After all the Pain endured tragedy struck again 2009 we lost our grandmother to a brain haemorrhage in which she passed shortly after. I use to sit alone and pray that life surely can’t be this cruel and then between 2009 and 2012 after loosing few more friends I was hit with another crack through my heart ; my brother found out he had a brain tumour 23years old and as if we hadn’t been through enough. Unfortunately after a biopsy was done they found it was a very aggressive tumour and sadly he too passed away before any treatment could be given. Now it’s just me im thinking when’s my turn? My life changed in 2015 when I gave birth to my first daughter and 2016 when I had my second daughter. They are my happiness now , but this time of the year realising you got no family around,the family you would usually call up any day of the week just to tell them what the kids did or to tell them about your day or to just hear there voice . That’s no longer possible, were they even real? It’s just my girls and I now struggling through life. I try my best to keep there Christmas alive because seeing them happy even with just the one toy each that I could afford makes me believe there is a god and I know my family are looking over me and are proud of me for doing the best I can. Chin up to everyone whose lost a loved one I know it’s hard . Merry Christmas and god bless

  22. Thank you for sharing. My mother passed almost 5 years ago and it feels like yesterday. The months, days, hours are like a ticking time bomb when it gets closer to the date. My children keep me going, but losing your mom creates a void that will never be filled. I now have two grandbabies that I look forward to creating magical days with. Although I dread the holidays and all that she is missing, I know she is here watching over us and hope to be a wonderful Grandma and mother like she was.

  23. This is Christmas number 2 without my mom, but really more than that. She had Alzheimer’s and it took her away one slow aching step at a time. I tried to take care of her for as long as I could at home, but it became too difficult for me. I had a husband that also requires care too. I t just didn’t give me much time to really mourn. Just miss her so much.

  24. You’ll get through this Vicki. As we get older we all lose someone dear to us. You can get some comfort in knowing that she is always with you in your heart and in your memories. I miss my mother that I lost in 1996 and still remember her dearly. This too shall pass and it will get easier. My prayers are with you.

  25. My mom passed almost 19 years ago. I cried reading your piece. I totally relate. She was my best friend and the glue that held us together. I send you a big hug Christie. We’ll get through the holidays somehow because that’s what our moms would of wanted for us.

  26. I’m sorry about your mom and yes things will never be the same. I lost my mom 35 years ago and I still miss her. My son died 15 years ago and of course our holidays can be difficult. I look at our families and can help but be envious. My 3 grandkids don’t have an uncle or cousins on our side. And there’s no one around to help me fuss over decorating for the holidays. My mom always loved holidays. In time I hope you can find others around you that care.Whether its other relatives, neighbors or friends. There are other people out there that need a friend. And don’t forget to love the ones who are still here. I hope you find peace.

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