An Open Letter To My Mom In Heaven
Every person gets a different amount of time in this life with their mothers, just like everyone has an entirely different relationship with them, My time with my mother got cut short and I didn’t get to have her as long as I would have liked. My years with my mom were short, but our relationship was way beyond our years. My mother was my everything. She was my best friend, my better half, and my confident. I lost way more than just my mother when she died. I lost all of these things wrapped into one. I find myself talking to my mom all of the time, hoping that she can hear me. There are so many things that I hope she knows.
I miss you
I miss you more than words could ever explain. I miss your smile, I miss your laugh, and I miss your hugs. Actually, I even miss the way you would yell at me for not making my bed the way you taught me “hundreds of times.” There is so much I miss. There are so many things in my life that will never be the same without you. Even years later there are still countless moments that I find myself saying, “How much I wish my mom was here.” I have accepted this is a void I will feel forever.
Thank you for being the best mom. Thank you for giving me the chance to have the best mom in the world. Thank you for teaching me so much. Thank you for never letting me slack on becoming the person you knew I was capable of. Thank you for teaching me “how to be a lady” (even when I had no interest in that.) Thank you for teaching me not to settle for the “losers.” You always wanted more for me. You always saw my potential. You believed in me, even when I didn’t believe in myself. Thanks for always being my number one fan. As I get older, I see why you taught me so many of the things you did. It makes you not being here just a little bit easier.
I love you
Losing you has taught me so much about life. It taught me the meaning of life, and what real love really is. They say a mother and a daughter is one of the closest relationships in the world. Losing that relationship taught me how capable I was of loving, losing, and feeling pain. You taught me the meaning of love. You loved me unconditionally, no matter what.
I’ll always be your little girl
You took so much pride in me. I was your little girl. I was a spitting imagine of you. You loved me with all of your heart and I was your baby. We would always recite the book “ill like you forever, ill love you for always, as long as I’m living, my baby you’ll be”, and even though you aren’t physically here anymore.. I will always be your baby. No matter where life takes me, I will always take a part of you with me, always.
I will make you proud
Losing you has given me purpose. I will continue to live everyday for you. I will be the best version of me. I will make you proud. With every choice, every decision, every step I take for the rest of my life, I will honor you.
Life without you is hard, and it probably always will be, but I will live this life for you momma.
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