This Is My Depression

This Is My Depression

 To me, depression is one of the most misunderstood things in the world. People think that just because you aren’t crying or physically showing your sadness, it must mean that everything is fine. People think that because you look put together on the outside there is no way you could be “sick” or that something is wrong.

You don’t get to stay home from work because you are depressed. You don’t get a doctor note. What you are going through is something you are just supposed to suck up and deal with because, you aren’t actually “sick”.

People think that you can just snap out of this, or that its just a funk you are in. People think that it must just be because something bad is currently happening in your life and it’s upsetting.

What people who haven’t battled depression don’t understand is that depression is so much more than all of that.

Depression is not having the energy to get out of bed in the morning.

Depression is getting into bed at 6 pm because you have no more energy to get through the day.

Depression is not having any motivation to shower.

Depression is wearing sweats because you don’t have it in you to put something nice on.

Depression is cancelling plans because you don’t want to be around anyone.

Depression is endless appointments to your psychiatrist.

Depression is tiny blue and white pills and trying countless different combinations of one until you find one that helps you feel just a bit better.

Depression is side effects that are caused by these medications and that even though they are helping your mood they are also causing you so many other issues.

Depression is having no emotion and no affect to the things you once enjoyed.

Depression is your family and friends wondering why you are always tired or why you spend so much time in bed.  

Depression is unpredictable. It comes and goes when you least expect it.

Depression is a battle that truly never ends. Depression is a battle I will fight (and continue to win), for the rest of my life.

Depression doesn’t have to define you.

Depression doesn’t have to win.

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