I remember the first holiday after my mom died like it was yesterday. It was probably one of the most emotional times in my life. It was also a time I dreaded greatly. I was not in the holiday spirit. I did not want to be around anyone. Actually, I just wanted to curl up in a ball and be alone and wait for this to be over.
For someone that is grieving, the holidays aren’t the same as they were the year before. They instead are days that they are just trying to survive, get through and try to move forward.
They aren’t excited for the holidays this year. They aren’t in the “holiday spirit.” For them, this year is just a reminder of the person that they love that is missing.
Be patient with them.
Don’t get upset if they don’t seem happy to see you. Honestly, they aren’t very happy in general right now
Don’t be mad that they didn’t bring anything. They were barley able to get up and bring themselves.
Don’t pressure them to talk about things they don’t want to. Everyone deals with their grief in their own way.
It’s okay for them to cry. Much of the time grief comes out in tears. This happens often when you wouldn’t expect it. Comfort them. Be there for them. But most importantly, let them cry.
Meet them where they are at. Everyone grieves differently. Some people find it comforting to talk about the person that is missing at the table this year while others find it unbearable to talk about. Whatever the case may be let the person who is grieving take the lead.
There often isn’t a “right” thing to say to someone who just lost someone that they love. The best thing you can do for them is to follow their lead for whatever they may need on these very difficult days.
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