It's been a rough few years. Between losing my mom, the heart break and all of the stresses that life has brought in between. It is important to reflect on many of my triumps but also many of my failures.
I have a habit of putting other peoples needs before my own. I become selfless in a way that is deteroiating to my well being. I get lost in relationships with people who need fixing and I let people in my life literally suck the life out of me.
I am always there for people who aren't always there for me. I'm the first person people go to for help, but I have a real difficulty turning to others when I need help myself. I say yes to things that I really don't want to with the fear of hurting others and I way too often put aside the things that are important to me in order to make time for people and things that I feel "obligated" to do.
It's not the worst problem to have. I mean I like to think I'm a good person, a good friend and family member. I like to think its a good thing for people to know that I would drop things for them if they ever needed me. I don't think it's necessarily, bad.
However, in the midst of all of this, it has had some effect on me. Not necessarily a positive one either. My own mental health has suffered at the expense of always being there for everyone else. My own issues have gotten pushed aside and I have quickly stopped doing many of the things that I once loved.
I lost a lot of myself over the past few years. And it all started to add up. I realized this when I really started to hit a dark place. A place that I didn't even know how I ended up in and definitely couldn't pull myself out of.
So this year, it has been time to re-evaluate. It has been time to think about where my priorities are, where they are going and what is the most important to maintain my emotional wellbeing while also continuing to strive to be the very best version of myself.
It will include a lot of self care.
It will include saying no.
It will mean not going to things that I don't want to just because I feel like I have to.
It will mean asking for help.
It will mean reaching out to the people I love when life gets hard and overwhelming.
It will mean taking time for myself. Time to exercise, read and write. Time for the things that bring me peace.
It will mean removing the people that are toxic. It will mean leaving the people behind who do not make my life better.
It will mean working my absolute hardest at everything that is important to me.
The best part of hitting a rock bottom is that the only way to go from there is up. It's important to remember that this struggle is just another bump in the road and you can, once again, turn out on top.
Invest in yourself. Invest in your overall wellbeing and do whatever it takes to find your happiness.
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