I remember the first holiday season after my mom died like it was yesterday. I may not remember all of the physical details, but, what I do remember is, the immense amount of tears, the dread, the anger, the avoidance, the sadness, and a million other crappy feelings that I don’t think someone could explain unless they have lived through something similar.
As a kid, you can’t wait for Christmas. It’s your favorite holiday. You wait all year to be able to write out a Christmas list of all the things you’ve been wanting. You would barley sleep the night before as you are so excited to wake up and start opening your presents. You spend the day with all the people you love, you get time off from school, there isn’t anything better.
As you get older, the excitement wears off a bit, but it is still a time you really enjoy. You get breaks from college or spend time with friends and family. It’s always something to look forward to.
Or maybe you have your own kids and the joy of them being excited makes it the best holiday of the year.
Well, the excitement over the holiday season looks a lot different for the person who is grieving a loved one who is no longer there.
The holiday season looks a lot different for the girl whose mom died.
The holiday season is not something she is looking forward to this year. She is dreading it.
She is not looking forward to spending time with her family as it is a huge reminder of who is missing. The only person she wants to spend time with right now is her mom.
She is not in the mood to celebrate. There isn’t any joy in her life this year.
She doesn’t want to make a Christmas list. The only gift she wants is the one that she will never have. The only gift she could imagine wanting this year is her mom back.
Maybe next year will be better, but for this year, she is just ready for them to be over.
So, as the holiday season may be a time that you and enjoy and look forward to, think about those around you who may not feel the same. Be compassionate and kind. This time of year looks very different for someone who is grieving someone they love.
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Also, here are some great resources for anyone who has lost a mother
https://www.facebook.com/iamamotherlessdaughter/
https://www.facebook.com/Motherless-Daughters-153858391294874/?fref=ts
I lost my mom in my early 20s, she was 62, had only turned that 10 days before. I had little kids that weren’t going to understand- so despite my grief & feeling anything but festive, I decided to honor my mom by carrying on the family traditions she established.
Every year, first thing, I take my kids & now grandkids shopping for toys to donate. We make it a day of fun, generosity & then stop for hot chocolate. Explain to them this is a long standing tradition, I hope they will continue when I am gone.
I do baking days, baking her standards & my favorites. She may not be there physically, but I know she’s with me/us! That helps to cheer me.
I lost my mother November 01, 2019. Thanksgiving was horrible. While everyone around me where laughing and talking all I could here were buzzing in my ears. I cried all day and night. I AM CERTAINLY not looking forward to Christmas. It has been so difficult. I did everything with her. I was her caregiver until the morning she took her last breath. I feel empty and drowing in a puddle. I want to sleep all day long so I could see her in my dreams.
I am hoping that next year will be different . I will firever miss her. . Btw, her Birthday is the 27th of December .