I Remember The Day You Died Like It Was Yesterday

The day my mother died. I remember every single moment like it happened yesterday. It was 7 years ago, and there have been so many things that I have forgotten that have happened over those 7 years, but not that day. Not that day and not the days leading up to and following the worst day of my life.

This day every year just plain sucks. It’s a reminder of all of the pain I have been through and a confirmation of the reality that for the rest of my life, this day will mark another year that I have lived without my mom.

It’s one day that just never seems to get easier. They say time heals all wounds but I’m just not sure if that’s true. Sure, things have gotten easier and I have adjusted to this “new” life that my favorite person is no longer a part of. But the day she died, that never gets easier.

Sometimes it seems to get worse every year. It seems like a constant slap in the face that this is my life and I have to deal with it. It just reminds me how much time has actually gone by and how many important milestones that my mom has to miss.

It just plain SUCKS. I don’t know how else to put it. The people in my life are wonderful and supportive and help me the very best that they can every step of the way. But that doesn’t replace my mom and that doesn’t fix the fact that she’s never coming back.

I try so hard to be positive on this day. I try to find the good in life. I try to live it for you. I try to hold my head above water and continue with the job and career that I am passionate about. I TRY.

I try because I know you wouldn’t want it any other way. I try because you, my favorite person in the world, deserve to watch your daughter kick ass for heaven.

I’ll do it for you, but that doesn’t make missing you any easier.

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9 thoughts on “I Remember The Day You Died Like It Was Yesterday

  1. I know exactly how you feel. I remember everything about the day that my Mom died. It’s been 18 months. I feel like I’m still just going through the motions of life. I also remember everything about the day my Dad was tragically taken from our family. He’s been gone now for 25 years.

  2. I can relate. I remember where I was where my children were, my husband. All as it it was a mere hours ago that i got the call. Hugs from Hawaii ?

  3. I was an only child, so my Mom and I were kind of close…if not very close for the last years. She passed away a year and 10 months (tomorrow will be the 10 mos.) I feel exactly… I cannot let her down after all she gave me. We have never been rich or wealthy, so she would always say,that the only inheritance a parent has to leave their children when they are gone ..is education.So that is what keeps me going.
    Thank you for this wonderful page!!!

  4. Ditto. My mom died 5 years ago…September 7, 2012…on my 10th wedding anniversary. The anniversary of the happiest day of my life is now shadowed with deep sadness ?

  5. Funny how it does get somewhat easier but I still think oh I will call my mother and ask her. But the thing I really miss most is my mothers voice. Sometimes I close my eyes and I can almost hear it or at least I think I can.

  6. I was with my 64 year old Mom two and a half years ago when she took her last breath. It’s has a permanent spot in my brain and I live it in the sad times. It was a gift to be able to say goodbye, but a painful wound that never heals. I see her sometimes in my dreams, never older, and it’s those dreams that offer the most comfort as I feel I am with her again. I read your blog often as it resonates with me in my own loss.

  7. don’t know what to say … tears running down my face.. I know your pain. Nothing will ever be the same without my beautiful best friend my mom. So sorry for your loss.

  8. My mom died last year, 16 April and it feels like yesterday. It was sudden that i never had a chance to say how much i Love her and i will give my life just to see her again. Still don’t know how to move on… every single day the pain is killing me… :'(

  9. I lost my mom 11 years ago and it was painful. However, I lost my husband 7 years ago and it was life-changing. This particular blog – with "mom" being changed to "husband" – is exactly what I feel since he went Home.

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